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BEST OF: MUSIC: A 30​-​Year Retrospective Debut Anthology Greatest Hits Compilation Essential Bonus Edition Never​-​Before​-​Released Musical Memoire, Part 1

by Scott Matthew Pittman

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1.
Today's a musical day Today's a musical day With days like these Who needs a breeze Today's a musical day
2.
Oh So Broke 02:23
Oh So Broke In the heat of summer I went to buy an ice cream It only cost a dollar But I was oh so broke I went down to the corner To buy myself a paper It only cost a quarter But I was oh so broke I got no money (oh so broke) [3X] I am oh so broke I tried to make a phone call I call the operator She tells me "It's a dime, please" But I was oh so broke I'm feeling kind of fickle I think I'll buy a pickle It only cost a nickel But I was oh so broke I got no money (oh so broke) [3X] I am oh so broke * I got no money (oh so broke) [3X] I am oh so broke I guess I'll get a gumball It only cost a penny I reached inside my pocket But I was oh so broke So I walked up to the fountain To get a drink of water Cuz water cost me nothing But the fountain, it was broke
3.
Bike 02:32
Bike I think I'll ride my bike today That's what I'd really like to do today Feel the breeze Look at the trees Some lemonade please I feel so free That's what I'd really like to do today Look out for that big dog! Watch out for that pot hole!! I risk getting killed and I could take a spill!!! But it's all worth it, though That's what I'd really like to do today I have to pedal harder to make it up this hill But when I finally make it I will get the thrill... ...of racing down the other side and coasting all the way Like a child on a slide I never wanna end this ride I think I'll ride my bike today
4.
Race It Like A Rocket Race back to 84 A spark ignited then RGP RPM Turbocharged BGN Zoom over to the track Countdown the Christmas lights A blur goes flying down a quarter mile strip (Yeah) I race it like a rocket I race it like a rocket I race it like a rocket I race it like a rocket I race it like a rocket I race it like a rocket I race it like a rocket A rocket Week end garage all year Night highway test run drives Blue collar super car Darth Buick comes alive A teenage hobbie dream A realized late life love You showed us how to move 200 miles an hour (Yeah) I race it like a rocket I race it like a rocket I race it like a rocket I race it like a rocket I race it like a rocket I race it like a rocket I race it like a rocket A rocket [Instrumental ] (Yeah) I race it like a rocket I race it like a rocket I race it like a rocket I race it like a rocket I race it like a rocket I race it like a rocket I race it like a rocket A rocket
5.
There's A Big Giant Thing In My Yard There's a big giant thing in my yard And I don't know what it is If you know, tell me what it is There's a big giant thing in my yard There's something wrong with my car It's been making quite an awful noise It's been running just a little bit funny And I think that it's kinda broke Things just don't seem to be OK nothing ever seems to work out or fit... I gotta pick up some glue But I think that the store is closed I wish I knew the number I wish I had a phone If you think that you're gonna starve Get yourself a bucket of paint Paint yourself a picture of food Eat it and you'll be OK Things just don't seem to be OK nothing ever seems to work out or fit...
6.
The Adventures Of Little N'deesh "Ladies and gentlemen... High above the center ring (of the 2 ring circus... ) May I present to you.... The one, the only.... Little N'deesh!!!!!" I was 6,7,8 years old 9,10,11 kids at home Dad lined us all up in a row To take us out to see a show It was a circus very small Two rings it had and that was all But that was good enough for me Cuz there were lots of things to see Then there was Little N'deesh He was a dwarf and an acrobat One by one the troup of acrobats would dash across the ring and vault off a trampoline to make a human pyramid We thought that this was the best yet Til all the clowns came screaming from the mini VW Bug The circus is a place of fun You shouldn't try this stuff yourself They all know just how it's done And they do it very well Then there was Little N'deesh He was to be the capstone of the human pyramid N'deesh jumped up much too high And flew over the human pyramid !! [SCREAMS} Her name was Glennis the hippopotamus Who yawned from tired trips upon a bus And swallowed that little dwarf N'deesh But luckily he went down in one piece So they had to save him And to his rescue They called the sword swallower And he cut the hippo open N'deesh the dwarf was still alive!!!
7.
Thomas & Gerald I tried to shoot you down you didn't die The bullets must have missed and whizzed right by And then the poison that I gave you didn't take Or else you didn't eat that cake I baked The dynamite was hidden in your car I really didn't think you'd get that far And then the boulder that I dropped upon your head Just pushed you in the ground but you're not dead Some day I'm gonna getcha Some day you'll be all mine One day you'll let your guard up It'll be alright I took your knife and tried to stab your heart But there wasn't one for me to rip apart And so I tried to drug you up to kill your brain But it didn't do a thing cause you're insane Some day I'm gonna getcha Some day you'll be all mine And one day you'll let your guard up You better watch out You better watch out [Solo] I thought I hit you hard and cracked your skull But I guess the ax I used was rather dull And then I pushed you off the ledge to meet your doom But xtheeggsblasphemousteazincancientrunesx Some day I'm gonna getcha Some day you'll be all mine One day you'll let your guard up You better watch out You better watch out [2X] Cause one of these days!! You better watch out It's so hard to live your life of a cartoon But then again the cheese is made of moon
8.
Blanche 03:13
Blanche I've been to New York I've been to LA Been down to the south And Boston, where I stay And there's one thing in life I've learned on my quest I like you the best Now you know I must go And travel the land But I'll always come back Cause you know where I stand Cause there's one place I've found and put to the test I like you the best When I'm away and thinking of you Tempted I am but no one will do I used to try but I can't no more They invite me inside but I can't make it past the door, no No no no... Oh Blanche, I'm crazy for you Oh Blanche, no one else will do and I know that there's One place to go where I'm always a guest And you will be there with a smile in your heart Now I've made a vow And I'm staying true Cause I've been all around And there's no one quite like you And there's one thing in life that I have confessed And there's one thing in life known from the east to the west And there's one thing in life more than the rest I like you the best
9.
There's Only So Much I Can Do I don't know what I can do; I don't know what I can say I think I'll just disappear; I think I'll just go away There's Only So Much I Can Do To Keep My Mind Off Of You There's Only So Much I Can Do To Keep My Mind Off Of You I can try, I can try... but I can't pass you by I can try, I can try... but I can't pass you by There's Only So Much I Can Do To Keep My Mind Off Of You There's Only So Much I Can Do To Keep My Mind Off Of You You can tell me not to cry You can tell me I'm a fool But I will tell you it's a lie I can't get you off my mind There's Only So Much I Can Do To Keep My Mind Off Of You There's Only So Much I Can Do To Keep My Mind Off Of You You know there's only so much that I can do You know there's only so much that I can do You know there's only so much that I can do You know there's only so much that I can do...
10.
I Just Want To Be With You Oh no you didn't see me holding back my tears As we were talking on the telephone last night I passed it off like I was someone who was cool But it was more like I was gonna lose my mind I couldn't tell if you were right or I was wrong I only wish that you and I could move along Can't figure if I'm a schlemiel or a schlimazel But luck ain't workin' out for me today, oh no... I Just Want To Be With You [x2] ~ So I went out; I tried to drink you from my mind But everywhere I looked I thought I saw your face Then all the telephones were beggin' me to dial And then my car, it drove itself right by your place -how strange... I Just Want To Be With You [x2] I turn on my radio. I keep hearin' them sad old songs like Fa Fa Fa Fa Fa Fa Fa Fa Fa, and Lonely Teardrops, and I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry... and Cry To Me There's Only So Much I Can Do To Keep My Mind Off Of You Oh no you didn't see me holding back my tears As we were talking by the telephone today I passed it off like there was somewhere I should be But it was more like I was hoping you would say to me: I Just Want To Be With You [x2] I just want to know how I can hear you say I Just Want To Be With You I never know where I stand with you, girl You keep me guessing again and again But if I knew, it would not be the same You move my heart and my soul
11.
Go 04:05
Go So take my heart and take my soul 'cause I don't need them anymore You took them both right when you left and now I know just how you feel 'cause You have got no heart and you have got no soul and someone must have done the same to you a long time ago Go.
12.
Dear Lisa, 04:18
Dear Lisa, I have watched as time goes by You better bet regret can make me cry I lost my heart; tore us apart Sincerely sorry both for you and I I could not stand to say goodbye to you All through my head, that starry night with you I thought I lost you; now I have found you Could not within go on without you I have died a thousand times In your eyes again goodbye Please understand how much I miss you Crying alone I reminisce you I've searched my heart; I've searched my soul God only knows to love, to kiss you. To kiss you... I miss you. Love, Scott P.S. Yes, I still love you Always thinking of you You are my true love For eternity...
13.
When You're Alone On The Street Of Regret Here lies a heart broken man So sad; he had it all He left a hole in her heart Now his heart's in a hole You know just where you stand When You're Alone On The Street Of Regret You see where you went wrong When You're Alone On The Street Of Regret You have nowhere to turn When You're Alone On The Street Of Regret Please... look at me... do you see? My heart is yours I'm all alone in this sea of people Save me!! Take me away to that moonlight Only you can see my true love [her] You broke my heart. [him] I broke mine, too. [her] Don't try again. [him] I was a fool. [her] Just let it go. [him] Que dites vous... Please... (how can I love when I've got no heart?) Look at me... (how can feel when I've got no soul?) Do you see?... (how can I see when my eyes are crying?) This is no game... (how can I laugh when I've got no smile?) I've come to you... ( how can I breathe with the air so heavy?) With my heart wide open... (how can I bleed when my heart is empty?) Save me... (how can I eat when I hunger for you?) You're all I have... (how can I sleep when the bed's half empty?) To look forward to... (how can I move when I can't move on?) Can't you understand... (how can I think when you're on my mind?) ...my... (how can I live if it's not with you?) True love...? (how can I die if there's still a chance?) Here lies a heart broken man.....
14.
Hey, Rock & Roll My friend Rock & Roll, she came Crying up to me one day Wishing we were all still young Look at us now... __________________________ Our old pal Country Boy came by He came by with a plastic tie When he was young he had my respect But now... I don't know. That punk that no one used to like Is selling sneakers on a bike Though he was crazy, he had style Now no one cares Johnny Blues had soul to spare Now he walks around in his underwear 'Tighty-whities' I've been told I didn't look Uncle R&B once said, "If I change, just shoot me dead!" I wish his daughter got to know him Before he died ___________________________ Hey Rock & Roll Tell me what happened to your soul Tell me did your passion end Oh yeah for you and your friends Baby maybe we could go And listen to the radio But she said all our friends have broke it And then she cried I guess it's true 'bout what they say As time goes by your friends will stray But we'll stick together and reminisce Just you and me Hey Rock & Roll Tell me what happened to your soul Tell me did your passion end Oh yeah for you and your friends [dying guitar]
15.
You Get What You Pay For [Intro] If you're gonna do it, do it right If you're gonna screw it, screw it right When you go to do it, gotta do it right the first time Don't get the cheapest one, You get what you pay for You get what you pay for Here we go... Friend built a surfboard Made it out of cardboard Took it in the ocean Died Sally made a casserole With anything that she could find Most of it was poisonous Died. You get what you pay for You get what you pay for Nelson broke his Tee Vee Didn't want an expert Tried to fix it on his own Died Johnny wanted sandwich Only for a dollar Walked into a fast food Died [Bridge] The new king didn't want to pay for education Threw away the books; then he made it all illegal A big giant company installed a bunch of box stores Everyone around the country moved inside a trailer park You get what you pay for You get what you pay for Now wait a minute! A hundred couple years ago Some friends made a country place We all own a little bit You Get What You Pay For [Outro]: Marla wants a laptop Any kinda laptop Doubles as a toaster Show me just the cheapest Can it be a telephone? Make it do the flip trick Insurance? No no no no! Just get me the cheapest I don't need a program Just a dumb computer Tablet kind of cell phone Just get me the cheapest Take it home and press go Make it play the best games Where did all my stuff go Just give me the cheapest Died
16.
Art Is The Handmaid Of Human Good The train rolled in as the day begins The cotton was stored in the 3rd car The rising sun sees everyone The Merrimack river flows by Through downtown canals thread; The arch bridge overhead The mills are all American Bond red brick, Yes they are The smokestacks billow a great gray smoke pillow Cornucopia formed in the sky Art is the handmaid of human good This downtown feels more like a neighborhood We're standing where Kerouac Jack once stood This Mill City could be a home I stayed a while ~ It makes me smile To sing and play music with my friends The Moxie flows and the Lincoln Dog knows A Festival of Folks can't be wrong I close out the Safe. Open up the cafe I'm burning the Poorhouse at both ends Somewhere in the Middle I grab that guit-fiddle And pick & strum and sing this song Art is the handmaid of human good This downtown feels more like a neighborhood We're standing where Kerouac Jack once stood This Mill City feels like a home The train rolled out on its usual rout But I remained there at the station I couldn't go 'til I let her know That I would return here one day The Mill City Girls are the best in the world Industrial Revolution Liberation !! They helped me leave past this textile weave And waved as I caught the last train Art is the handmaid of human good This downtown feels more like a neighborhood We're standing where Kerouac Jack once stood Mill City will always be home
17.
Say Coffee 02:45
Say Coffee I never dug a drug or smoked cigarettes Or walked and talked around as if I had Tourette's But I loved my whiskey with a splash of 7up And music kept the time But I'll tell ya old Italia was the place to be When a lightning bolt espresso said ciao-ciao to me Can't live another day without what took a life to find Changed forever and the search was on Where we gonna go now? Where we gonna go now? So I looked around America to find the one (Going Dunknuts) But tryna yank a chain 'a caffeine isn't any fun (High prices Star-sucks) Then a Mirage appeared before me; helped me get my Fixe (Mom and pop or bust) Cuz I found that place to be Say coffee say coffee Bring my love to me It's coffee my coffee Finally found my cup of tea * Holy cow, I gotta get it right from the source Gotta Shack up with some Sugar, stir it 'round of course Take a break or an elevenses and treat yourself It's worth it; so follow me Where we gonna go now? Where we gonna go now? Say coffee say coffee Bring my love to me It's coffee my coffee Finally found my cup of tea ...where we gonna get coffee?
18.
Cheers!!
19.
20.
M-O-X-I-E-I-O Broke down truck in Lewiston A dollar to my name Made my way to Kennibec's Ol' Franky looked the same Gotta drink me something before I hitch up to the show Franky took that dollar from me There's only one way to go (He said,) Gotta get some Moxie, boy If you walk in like that So take this can from my hand and put it in your hat ~ I know disheveled suits me And he could see I could use a lift He said, "I'll give you a ride and 6-pack to tide ya, If you will grace me with your gift." He pointed to my beat-up case And then my guitar flange He said, "Sit down and sing that song of yours For a double can orange." M-O-X-I-E-I-O M-O-X-I-E M-O-X-I-E I'll take my Moxie can to go ~ So my song I sang for him Sipped his elixir mix Hit me like a horse on wheels It began to do its tricks... Moxie Moxie; Yeah she rocks me
21.
Good Old R2D2 Good old R2D2; liked to mess around Hangin' w/ C 3PO all over town Had a single eyeball in the middle of that face Riding 'round with 3PO in and out of space Oh R2D2 / C3PO Sometimes there were 2 legs; Sometimes there were 3 Or flying 'round with thrusters way Up where you can't see Hitting up the swampland; there were Snakes and it was wet Rolling in the jungle; Never got upset Oh R2D2 / C3PO / Oh R2D2 / C3PO Good old R2D2; liked to mess around Hangin' w/ C 3PO all over town That big ol' single eyeball; smack-dab in the face They would get all dirty; all over space Oh R2D2 / C3PO Always friends forever; always associate And now that rolling, balling, orange crazy BB8 Oh R2D2 / C3PO / Oh R2D2 / C3PO
22.
Smoke Machine You work your whole life To play the music Then you get on a stage To show the world Up come the lights The crowd is ready You hit the first note But hey what is this!?!? The lasers and phasers Take over the stage as you Concentrate harder to find the way The strobe light, the black light, the spot in your face light But that's not the worst as you try to play Holy smoke machine (Over and over) Can't see a damn thing (Crazy hazey) Is it all worth it? (True story) And you don't even care about the smell?!? (Inconsiderate inconsiderate) You work your whole life Trying to find the right people To get on the stage And show the world Things go all right The fans are steady You hit your first tour But hey what is this?!? The lasers and phasers Take over the stage as you Concentrate harder to find the way The strobe light, the black light, the spot in your face light But that's not the worst as you try to play Holy smoke machine (Over and over) Can't see a damn thing (Crazy hazey) Is it all worth it? (True story) And you don't even care about the smell?!? (Inconsiderate inconsiderate) I can't see a thing in front of my face There's a gray funk haze all about the place Gotta make a stop before we get to the show Pray the next club will let it go Holy smoke machine (Over and over) Can't see a damn thing (Crazy hazey) Is it all worth it? (True story) And you don't even care about the smell?!? (Inconsiderate inconsiderate) "But really, what's with the smoke machine...?!?" "That's a damn good question"
23.
Yodel Train 03:24
Yodel Train (dedicated to John Robert "J.R." Phelps) Got a guitar. Played it a bit. But my punk rock bar chords sounded like shit Then the Grandad of a buddy of mine Showed me the way and it blew my mind I was playing it wrong... Because it goes like this: ~ It seemed pretty simple, but boy was I wrong. It's not just playing the chords; it's the whole damn song. You've gotta play the bass line and the melody Put it all together... Just like 1,2,3 ~ He showed me Hank Williams and Johnny Cash. But the best vinyl records in his stash Was the Jimmie Rodgers; the letter T's for me Cuz for ScoTT MaTThew PiTTman... It changed history ~ So if you're playing guitar and just strumming about Take a cue from the past 'cuz you're missing out Let's not forget tradition; let's really play guitar You can start with this riff... Cuz it'll take you far ~
24.
I think I'm lost trying to get to Nicky's lesson. And I don't know how to get there. So I wish you'd answer and tell me!!
25.
Rock & Roll Smells Funny Pick it up, put it in the van . . Get paid whatever we can . . 20 bucks will get us to the show . . But will anybody go? (No!!) I'm sticking to the floor and I'm sticking to the plan Get everyone in to the back of Cindy's van No one's got a lighter still it's filling up with smoke There's a reason that we like to call it dope (Dope.) Rock & Roll: It smells funny Rock & Roll sometimes stinks Rock & Roll sure smells funny Just get us some more free drinks. (Yeah!!) There's a couple gettin' kissy in the coat room check I'll give her my scarf to cover up her neck Stickers hold the walls up in the co-ed can But I wish that the hot water ran (Play that guitar again!) * The boys all love the singer with the bright pink hair And the drummer only plays in her underwear But they vomited the shots they drank on to the stage And their fans are all underage (Another Coke, please) Rock & Roll: It smells funny Rock & Roll sometimes stinks Rock & Roll sure smells funny Just get us some more free drinks. (Let's go!) The 4 in the morning party's starting to fade The keg is spent; so's all the money we made And someone peed on the kitchen floor The pizza's gone so someone ordered more (Get the door) Rock & Roll: It smells funny Rock & Roll sometimes stinks Rock & Roll sure smells funny Just get us some more free drinks. Again!? Rock & Roll: It smells funny Rock & Roll sometimes stinks Rock & Roll sure smells funny Just get us some more free drinks. Woooo!! (Last call!!)
26.
Super Heavy Sigh I used to stay up all night long I'd practice a bunch or write me a song The cool kids were all outside drinking their bongs I'd be missing it They would all sport and/or drink til they raged Or hit all the clubs, their ID's overaged I'd be there all night long up on the stage I'd be missing it Friends all shacked up; Kids 1,2,3 Mortgages, marriages, master degrees That train rolled right by; it just wasn't for me I'd be missing it Oh well. Super heavy sigh... Super heavy sigh... Later, the PTA meetings at school Play dates and watching kids pee in the pool Yard sales, refinancing, garage full of tools I'd be missing it But strangest of all; I guess I just don't know Christianity, Islam, Hindu, nam myoho renge kyo It's all nice but I feel.... (super heavy sigh) * 1. If you paint me a picture Or built me a chair If you write me a song If you show that you care 2. If you knit me a blanket Or draw me a house If you chisel a stone If you catch a new mouse 3. If you grow me a garden Design the next car If you cook me an omelette Mix drinks at the bar 4. If you scissor me my haircut Cut me a suit If you dance like you mean it Wear cool DJ boots 5. If you take ones and zeros Make future appear If you trick me with magic If you craft me a beer 6. If you learn a new instrument Play from your heart If you write this long list Of folks who create art 7. If you snap me a photograph In black or white If a sonnet or poem or novel you write 8. If you film me a movie Right there on your phone If you know how the nose knows Perfume or cologne 9. If you barista coffee If you weld me a bike If you graffiti letters However you like 10. If your timing with comedy Makes you a clown If you teach the world's kids well They won't let you down 11. If you write me a letter If you sing me a song!! Then obviously you get it Then hey, come along!! Oh yeah!!

about

In 2016, I released a 3 1/2 hour long 94-track album which spanned 30 years of solo compositions and home recordings. It was called, MUSIC: A 30-Year Retrospective Debut Anthology Greatest Hits Compilation Essential Bonus Edition Never-Before-Released Musical Memoire, Part 1.
But 94 tracks is a little long for some people...
So this release is only 25 tracks. Just a tiny sampling of the full album. Hopefully, it'll inspire to check out the whole thing someday in all its glory. Worth it. There's treasure involved.
In the meantime, enjoy this BEST OF album which is still in chronological order, following my life from 1986-2016.

"Music is the best."-Frank Zappa

credits

released August 31, 2017

For full album credits, please go to scottmatthewpittman.com where you'll find the full list of all my friends who played on songs with me. All A+ folks.

I recorded most of this on my own to either a Tascam Porta One 4-track cassette recorder or an Apple iPad using GarageBand.
Lo-Fi, baby!!
Songs were recorded all over the place including my basement, garage, teaching space and car. Some tracks were even done outside at various music festivals.
The album cover was done by my longtime friend, Adam Kelly and the music was mastered delicately by Bob Nash at Wonk Sound in Lowell, MA.

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Scott Matthew Pittman Boston, Massachusetts

While playing drums in bands for 30+ years, I was secretly writing and recording hundreds of songs. I released 94 tracks of them all at once in 2016 with an album called: MUSIC: A 30-Year Retrospective Debut Anthology Greatest Hits Deluxe Compilation Essential Never-Before-Released Complete Discography Musical Memoire. Part 1 ... more

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